How Far Would You Go to Control Someone Else?

Star Trek TNG: Inheritance

Have you ever witnessed someone in a downward spiral, ruining their own life with bad habits and worse decisions? It makes you want to grab them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them. They’d be much happier if they took our sage advice, right?

Maybe. Maybe not.

In Star Trek TNG: Inheritance, Data meets his mother, Juliana, for the very first time. For those of you who don’t know, Data is an android. He can almost pass as human, but has no capacity for emotion. Juliana, of course, is not his real mother, but the wife of Dr. Soong, who created him with her assistance.

Throughout this episode, she relates tales of Data’s ‘childhood,’ the period shortly after he was activated when all the kinks in his programming were being worked out. She mentions the necessity for a modesty subroutine because Data, being unaffected by the elements, saw no logical reason to wear clothes.

What an interesting approach to parenting. Something not working quite right? Create a new subroutine. Maybe something for higher math or a respect-for-authority program. Wouldn’t it be nice if raising children were so simple? Or influencing others? But if it were, what would we have in the end? A bunch of creatures so perfectly and precisely designed that there is no room for individuality, no room for creativity, self-direction, independence or growth.

I admit that a few of my kids, as preschoolers, could’ve benefited from a modesty subroutine. Just ask our neighbors. And it might be nice, when they’re running around like wild things at bedtime, if we could just flick their switch and put them to bed.

Alas…this is not to be.

Every child requires different levels of freedom and accountability. Even siblings, at the same age, may have different needs. It’s a delicate line to walk between high expectations and freedom of choice. This requires wisdom, inspiration, and patience, lots of patience!

These principles extend to our interactions with friends, co-workers, and acquaintances, even those who may seek our counsel from time to time. Advice is good, but what if it’s not taken? It’s true—personal growth only occurs when people make their own decisions rather than following code written by someone else. But is the growth worth the fallout from bad decisions? If you could prevent someone else’s suffering by controlling their choices, would you? In what circumstances would that be ethical?

I, for one, am glad that neither my parents, nor our Creator, built me with a shut-off switch or programming that only they could control. I’m happy to try and control myself.

When do you think it is right to control someone else?