Wanted: Two kittens, preferably siblings, young enough for occasional bottle-feeding. Agile enough to climb the walls and hide in the Christmas tree. Warm and fuzzy enough to snuggle in my lap while I read. Graceful enough to rest on my shoulder when I write. Bold enough to train our new puppy. Clawed enough to defend themselves from visiting canines, but with enough self-control not to shred my carpet if I don’t open my bedroom door right away. (Okay, that last one is optional, just don’t tell my husband I said that.) Playful enough that they’ll chase my children. Brave enough that they’ll chase my children. Hungry enough that they’ll eat my chi…. I mean, that they’ll hunt and eat mice. In short, I need a couple of sweet little balls of fur to purr at my touch and stare at me disdainfully when I call. Please. Please. Please.
P.S. I would also like a dragon. Purple or green, with moderate fire-breathing capability, but no interest in roasting my cattle. Or my family. Or my pets. Neighbors are optional.